Divesting from White Supremacy Culture (Pt2). The car salesman and punctuality (Ep.25)
In Episode 25, we continue our conversation about the 15 characteristics of #whitesupremacyculture - a term explained by the work of Dr. Tema Okun - and how it shows up in our lives, in our workplaces, in our systems - even at a weird trip to the car dealership. Kori and Laura share how recognizing, interrupting, and working through moments where you’re caught in a trap of white supremacy culture often involves self-talk.
Show notes and sneak peek
Episode 25 continues the conversation from Episode 24, focused on sharing the characteristics of White Supremacy Culture (WSC). We review the 15 characteristics from Tema Okun’s seminal work and then continue to unpack ways in which we see WSC in ourselves, in our society, and institutions. Examples include the prevalence of white men in positions of power in our workplaces. Laura shares her relationship with perfectionism and worship of the written word, and Kori confesses how a sense of urgency and defensiveness is something she has to actively note and work to disrupt. We both acknowledge the importance of self-talk as a strategy to work through moments where we see WSC in ourselves. We point out how most Americans fear open conflict, preferring instead to sweep problems out of sight to protect comfort. Our personal chat to wrap things up includes Kori’s annual crawfish boil, the Cowboy Carter album, the purchase of a moonbounce, how much her boys love travel, and potty training. Laura shares the plan for a fun summer full of swim team practices and even a week of sleep away camp - and the ladies sign off Season 3 with warm wishes for our listeners to enjoy wonderful time with their loved ones over our break. We’ll be back for Season 4 with some surprises, including more friends for you to meet!!
Visit our new home on the web: www.pushingpastpolitepodcast.com for full show notes, transcripts, links to resources, and discussion prompts. Follow us on social media, as we want to hear from YOU! @pushingpastpolite on Instagram, Facebook, TikTok, and YouTube.
Resources
Dr. Tema Okun’s work on white supremacy culture
and a discussion guide
Transcript
Episode 25 Full Episode
[00:00:00] Kori: Imagine returning to work a month or less after giving birth. Mm hmm. Never would a man be fucking capable of such a
[00:00:14] Laura: thing. I need three days off for every Saturday. Well, and again, who's making the laws, who's had these lived experiences?
[00:00:24] Kori: Right. Mm hmm. That's one of our problems. Right. But this is also where white women come in and their proximity to this power hoarding power.
[00:00:34] And instead of disrupting this system that really is not serving you, you're affirming it all these different ways, right? It's like, why are we supporting the men in legislation who are trying to control your body? I would be cussing the motherfucker out every night at dinner. Don't
[00:00:57] Laura: you come home.
[00:00:57] Kori: Don't
[00:00:58] Laura: you, don't you.
[00:00:59] You voted for what? Don't come home.
[00:01:02] Kori: Don't even. I will punch you in your balls to give you an inkling.
[00:01:09] Laura: They're going to need family leave for that, don't you think? Don't you even.
[00:01:24] Welcome to Pushing Past Belay, where we talk about what matters and make the world more just.
[00:01:29] Kori: I'm Laura. I'm Kori. And we're continuing our conversation on white supremacy culture.
[00:01:35] Laura: So just to catch everyone up in episode 24, we talked about white supremacy culture, or at least we began it, um, which was a term and a thought popularized by thinker and scholar Tema Okun.
[00:01:47] If you haven't listened to our last episode, I'd recommend going back and starting there. But as a reminder, she published an article talking about the 15 characteristics of white supremacy culture, perfectionism, sense of urgency, defensiveness, Quantity over quality, worship of the written word, only one right way, paternalism, either or thinking, power hoarding, fear of open conflict, individualism, I'm the only one, progress is bigger and more, Objectivity, and the right to comfort.
[00:02:24] We'll post a graphic with all of these characteristics and links to where you can read her work on our website.
[00:02:30] Kori: So, these things show up in a lot of different ways, and they show up in us individually, they show up in us collectively, but they are embedded in our institutions all over the place. And that's why you see over and over and over again.
[00:02:42] leaders of organizations that are mostly white and white men. You see it in every single industry, right? And it's not because white men are smarter or more articulate or have better education. or any of that. It's none of those things. It's because the system was designed for them to see themselves everywhere, to expect to be in every place, to feel like they belong everywhere they go.
[00:03:13] And so they show up, like, you know, they have 60 percent of the, um, Requirements for a job, and they just go ahead and apply.
[00:03:22] Laura: Meanwhile, we hold ourselves to much higher standards. Much
[00:03:24] Kori: higher standards. Oh, I shouldn't. No, I don't think I'll make it. I don't know if I have enough, duh, duh, duh, right? We have this whole narrative where we're talking ourselves in or out, and they're like, you know what?
[00:03:34] We'll see what happens.
[00:03:35] Laura: I'll probably run this place and find you.
[00:03:37] Kori: Right, exactly! And then they end up doing it, right? It's like, I remember buying a car a few years ago, and this was before kids. And, like, I had this, Nissan broke for years, and I kept it. It was paid off. I love my little car, drove it across the country, all the things, right?
[00:03:58] And, uh, but I wanted something different. So we, we took it. We went online and we found this car that I liked and it was like, uh, my anniversary present or something for the first year or the second year we were married or something like that. You made it. Get a car. Right. Yes, we got a car. Um, and the guy who we met.
[00:04:18] To go purchase said car was this young white guy, and when we get there, he looks like absolute shit. Like, we're at a, you know, like a car dealership in Alexandria, Virginia, or Arlington. Okay, so I was wondering, were
[00:04:34] Laura: you buying it privately from just a random person? No. You're saying he was the representative at the, at the dealership.
[00:04:40] Kori: Yeah, and so, uh, and let me tell you what I mean when I say he looked like absolute shit. We meet up with him. We go inside, we're sitting down, and I'm like, Are you okay? And he's like, Yeah, I was like, You look like you had a rough night. He had gotten into a fight the night before. And had like, Bruises on his, His hand, On his face.
[00:05:06] His shirt was like not pressed like nothing about what was happening was professional, like not even close. And I was like, there ain't no way in god's on God's green earth that this would've been a black man
[00:05:20] Laura: showing up in here. That he would've been asked to go home.
[00:05:22] Kori: Yes. This white boy over here literally looked like he rolled out a fucking gutter
[00:05:32] Laura: Wow. And he's the representative of this. And he's the face, that face, oh my gosh. Like.
[00:05:41] Kori: And he's the guy, yeah, might be wearing the place in a few years, like, what the fuck? Like, you literally, and you're like, yeah, he didn't even, he like went into detail, like he told us about this fight that he got into.
[00:05:55] Laura: He wasn't even trying to hide it.
[00:05:56] Not even trying. What if women had this kind of confidence? Come on now. Okay, let me ask you a question. As you think about these tenets of white supremacy, yes, which do you see in yourself the most, if any, like, I can look at some of them and be like, Oh, no, no, that's not me. Like, that's just not who I am.
[00:06:15] That's not how I'm wired. But other ones. I'm like, Oh, yes, that's, that's hard to pull away from who I am as a person.
[00:06:21] Kori: Yeah.
[00:06:22] Laura: Do you want me to go first?
[00:06:23] Kori: Yeah, go first.
[00:06:25] Laura: Perfectionism is not me. That is not who I am. I have never struggled with that at all. Yeah. Yeah. Um, I just, meh, lower the bar, it's okay. Work hard, do a good job, certainly.
[00:06:36] I want to feel good and stand behind everything I do and be a person of my word. But I'm not obsessed with outperforming, climbing, um, making sure everything is, you know, like, that's just not who I am. Yeah. Um, I want, I want something that reflects well on me, certainly, but I am not going to make myself sick in the pursuit of that.
[00:06:55] Right. So that is one that does not resonate with me at all. Um, I will say the, something that I do see myself in more. Is this idea of the power of the written word and like the worship of the written word. Well, but it says this, but we said we were going to do that. But the, you know, like policy says this.
[00:07:15] And like, I'm very quick to again, maybe it's researcher orientation and a being more of a rule follower as a. Good little white girl, right? How I was raised. And that's something I can see. I feel comfort. I feel this sense of comfort from operating with knowing that I have grounding in something written to justify or protect me.
[00:07:39] Yeah. I see that as something that I need to work on and work through.
[00:07:44] Kori: Yeah. Or work through. I like that. Because, um, I use the written word as a, as a point, a teaching point, right? It's like, because often times. We have, we put down in writing things that are closer to ideals, right? And so like we write mission statements and vision statements and our companies have values and value statements.
[00:08:15] So I like to point back to those things too, right? To be like, well, this is who you say we are. And so what we're doing here does not align with who we say that we are. Or who we say we are striving to be. Who we are publicly saying we are, right? Something written down,
[00:08:33] Laura: that's part of the power.
[00:08:34] Kori: Mm hmm. But I would say sense of urgency for me.
[00:08:38] Like, I, we relate a lot when I was growing up. Like, I have a whole thing with time. Like, it's, it, like, therapy, all of it. I've been through it. I've been, I've been there, working on it. But probably, like, that sense of, Urgency is something that I struggle with, like I, I'm, I try now, I don't, I, I was rushing G a lot in the morning, like, come on, we got to go, let's go, let's go, we got to go, come on, we're going to be late, let's go, we got to go.
[00:09:11] And
[00:09:11] Laura: so
[00:09:11] Kori: now I'm just, my
[00:09:12] Laura: stomach hurt, like I need to go to the bathroom probably after that. Just thinking.
[00:09:16] Kori: Yeah.
[00:09:17] Laura: Be right back. Jeopardy music.
[00:09:19] Kori: Jeopardy doo
[00:09:19] Laura: doo doo doo. I don't really need to go.
[00:09:21] Kori: Um, but yeah, like, and so I am like that because we were often late and I have this thing of like, or at least I pose it as like respecting people's time.
[00:09:34] I want people to respect my time. I think my time is valuable. And so it's like if school starts at 906 or whatever. I want him to be there at nine. So someone at the latest, so someone is there to receive him and he can walk in and have a few minutes to decompress before they do circle time or whatever.
[00:09:53] So what I, I started doing or trying to do is just getting up or me getting up earlier because you know how I am with like my whole country style breakfast. We like have a whole hot breakfast every day. It's amazing. It's so I. Try to get myself up a little bit earlier so that I can get that started earlier so that
[00:10:18] Laura: it creates some space for you all to be able to be a little bit more relaxed as opposed to passing on that sense of panic and urgency to him.
[00:10:26] Kori: Because often the last thing we're doing is eating before we leave, right? So, like, if I start cooking earlier, Yeah, it is. You have
[00:10:32] Laura: courses to that breakfast. That shit's amazing.
[00:10:34] Kori: We could start eating earlier, which means it gives him more time to just kind of sit and relax and eat and enjoy before we have to leave.
[00:10:44] Mm hmm.
[00:10:45] Laura: I think often about how my interactions with my kids, More so a long, a while ago when they were bitty in preschool and I was getting them up and out. How my interactions and my tone was going to set the tone for their day. Yeah. Right. They were going to walk into preschool either upset or defeated or frustrated or encouraged and excited and feeling prepared.
[00:11:06] Yeah. Um, so I can see that's smart of you to, to see that bottleneck in your morning and say, we're going to eliminate that. We're going to work around that somehow. And
[00:11:14] Kori: even this morning, like he really wanted Daniel to take him to school, but I love taking him to school. And so he was going to let me take him to school, but he really wanted Daniel to take him to school.
[00:11:27] Laura: Thanks, honey. I, I, I, nope, feelings aren't hurt.
[00:11:29] Kori: Yeah. And so he was like, I said to him, I was like, but I like to see you school. He's like, okay, bye, Papa. And like, we were walking, we walked out and then Daniel was going to leave and go to work. And so he's like, but I want Papa to take me. And I was like, okay.
[00:11:45] So Papa just got in my car and he drove us. And I got in the passenger seat. So you
[00:11:49] Laura: got to go too. Yeah, we both went. That was awesome.
[00:11:52] Kori: Yeah. What
[00:11:52] Laura: does Papa do that's so magical? Is he like playing some really fun tunes and dropping the windows? What's he doing over there? Well, I
[00:11:58] Kori: just think that they get more time with me.
[00:12:02] Yeah. And so it's like, that's just. Some more limited resource with him. Mm hmm. Mm hmm. I get that. Mm hmm. And so it's like he picks, he usually picks him up from school most days. And so if he's around to take him, I think he just likes to have that time.
[00:12:17] Laura: Mm.
[00:12:17] Kori: I love it. Mm hmm. That's not a bad thing. Not at all.
[00:12:21] Mm mm. And I, and I
[00:12:22] Laura: bet you don't feel threatened by that either.
[00:12:24] Kori: No. No. That's why I was like, all right, let's just go. He's, because he was already in, in the seat and all that. In the car seat. Yeah. So it's like, all right,
[00:12:30] Laura: well, I'll just get over here. Pop will drive. We'll just take this car. So what you're saying is you don't struggle with the, I'm the only one characteristic you're happy to share with your husband.
[00:12:41] Not as much.
[00:12:41] Kori: Not as much. Yeah. Cause it's, cause it's not
[00:12:44] Laura: about me. That's right. That's right. It's about you feeling connection to all the people that love you. That's okay. Yeah.
[00:12:50] Kori: Yeah. And that's okay. And I think that one of the things we can do to be disrupting this like white supremacy culture and these tenants of white supremacy culture is a being able to recognize them.
[00:12:58] We recognize the way that they live in our bodies. Like. You seeing the perfectionism that you deal with or don't deal with seeing that sense of urgency or that defensiveness, um, or fear of conflict or fear of conflict. I feel like defensiveness is something that I manage. I work at managing. Same. Like, just you and me the other day, you were sharing feedback that was really great feedback and I found myself feeling you were critiquing me or feeling defensive and I was like, that's not what's happening here at all.
[00:13:29] Like I had to shift my own, my
[00:13:33] Laura: own mindset. You know what I'm saying? That's interesting. Like self talk is a part of your strategy. Same for me. Yeah. I remember a while ago when you said, Hey, there's something we need to talk about. It was regarding how I handled a situation. And I remember. Feel it again.
[00:13:48] Same kind of thing. Like feeling your body temperature go up. You know, you like feel the heat in your ears. You're like, it's coming right. And then just saying to myself, like, no, I'm not a bad person. Corey is cares about me and I want to grow and do and learn and do better. And so I need to just take a breath, like, let this feeling slowly leave my body, and I'm going to listen, and I'm not going to react.
[00:14:11] I'm just going to listen. Let me process this, you know? That self talk is really, for me, has been a strategy in alleviating that defensiveness. When I hear someone say something or comment, not that you came at me, but if someone were to come at me, I try to think what, instead of responding, like, what is behind their feelings right now?
[00:14:30] What do I need to understand and take away from this? Mm hmm. Because I, I think there's power also in like breathing, holding onto it and figuring it out as opposed to a reaction.
[00:14:41] Kori: Mm hmm. And I think that there's also power in, in just like telling yourself you're safe. You're not this, like you're not the center.
[00:14:50] Like this isn't about you, right? Like just people have had whole days and whole things before they've encountered you. That's right. And so, you know, this is not about you.
[00:15:06] Laura: That's right. It is. It's not about me. It's not about me in a good way. It's not about me in a, yep. It's just,
[00:15:12] Kori: you know, people have like rough days.
[00:15:15] rough moments. And so one of the things I try to do is like share light, you know, just like leave people with a little bit of light. And even when I'm upset, which is harder, but like, I, I know, like I've been on phone calls and just like, I know that you didn't do this. Like you personally did not do this.
[00:15:43] You are the person who answered the phone, uh, right. As I'm calling about this grievance, And that you personally did
[00:15:53] Laura: not do this. I even say that out loud sometimes. I'll say, listen. I do too. This is, yeah, I want you to know I'm not mad at you, but this is not reasonable. This is something we need to fix.
[00:16:02] What, you know, what suggestions might you have? Absolutely.
[00:16:05] Kori: Mm hmm. And I feel like right now, um, one example of fear of open conflict is the way in people, the way people are, uh, speaking up about what's happening on campuses all over the world. Um, all over the United States in terms of like silencing, um, Palestinian supporters.
[00:16:31] And even just like the fear of open conflict, it's like the, the people who are at events and disrupting the events, how they're getting dragged out, right. Instead of us having this discussion. Instead of us attacking and tackling these concerns and challenges because I'm a public servant and you voted me, I'm here to represent you, right?
[00:16:53] Well, we're going to remove you from the space because we don't want to have this open conflict.
[00:16:59] Laura: Yeah, we need to have the appearance of decorum and order.
[00:17:02] Kori: Exactly.
[00:17:03] Laura: Right, which is white supremacy culture. Which is white
[00:17:06] Kori: supremacy. So it's like either we're going to have this conversation. Another example is like when the microaggressions take place at at work or in public.
[00:17:16] And when the person says to you after the meeting, they don't say anything during the meeting to disrupt it, but they say to you after the meeting, Oh my gosh, I'm so sorry that happened to you. I can't believe so and so said that. Whatever. That's that fear of open conflict. Right. It's like if somebody in a meeting is calling me the name of the other black woman in the meeting or on our team or in our division or in our group or whatever, and I'm the person who's constantly correcting them and they're still not fixing it or addressing it.
[00:17:50] And then you come after the meeting. It's like, I can't believe Bob kept calling you. Uh, whoever. Where were you and
[00:17:57] Laura: why didn't you say something about it? Right.
[00:17:59] Kori: That's the fear of open conflict. Yeah.
[00:18:01] Laura: Uh huh. Yeah, we'd rather gawk at it afterwards versus bring it up in the
[00:18:06] Kori: to frame it as like, well, I didn't want to be disrespectful.
[00:18:09] I didn't want to, like, but, so that's like that right to comfort and the fear of open conflict. Right? So it's like, who has the right to comfort? You didn't want to be disrespectful to who? Cause I was being disrespected that whole time. Every time he called me by somebody else's name. That's right. That's right.
[00:18:28] Laura: Yeah. That's the other thing is how white supremacy is weaponized disproportionately. It's, it's about benefiting some and harming others. It's not about. This is just how we're all going to agree to be, right? It's about how can I, how can I take advantage and, and leverage this in a way that perpetuates my privilege and power and puts down others.
[00:18:54] And that's why DEI
[00:18:55] Kori: is under attack, right? Because the diversity equity inclusion initiatives help to illuminate those inconsistencies, right? And so the, one of the first things that's interrupted for people is that right to comfort.
[00:19:10] Laura: Yes.
[00:19:11] Kori: And so it's like, well, it was really messed up that George Floyd got murdered and that got broadcast for nine minutes while a white man had his neck, his knee on his neck.
[00:19:26] And he's literally dying in front of us on all of our phones. Whew! And I don't feel like doing all this work to unlearn and reteach myself. Like I was really in it for a while, but it's like, this is long game work. Oh, no, I'm good. Let's just like, I prefer my comfort. I prefer my comfort. I prefer my comfort.
[00:19:51] Let's push the people out who are helping us make progress. Let's make them so uncomfortable that they need to go, or let's just get rid of the whole division, the whole department, the whole group. In which those people operate, let's just and say we're going to redistribute them into other places where they can still do that work, right, but just we're not going to name it that we're going to redistribute them or not.
[00:20:17] And, um, I think we've done enough. I think we've done enough. We have a racial equity statement. And, um, good talk, good talk, good talk, good talk, but I'm going to go ahead and opt out. I am opting out
[00:20:32] Laura: because you can.
[00:20:34] Kori: Yeah,
[00:20:35] Laura: because you can. Um, this has been a good conversation. Yeah. About the white supremacy culture piece.
[00:20:42] Um, I think it's the beginning of many, I think in the same way we've peppered it throughout our conversations up to this point, it will likely continue to come up and come back to this. And I'd like to be able to come back to this and have, have continued conversations weaving this through and have people have some kind of familiar, familiarity with what this means.
[00:21:00] Kori: Yeah. And I just, it's like, it's just so evident. It just shows up. I'm thinking about like all the marginalized, anything that had to get amended in the constitution is under attack.
[00:21:12] Laura: If you're in an article, you're fucked. You know what I'm saying? If you're in an amendment. If you're an amendment. I know what you're saying.
[00:21:25] You know what I meant. Just clicked. I was like, that's not the right A word. I mean But still,
[00:21:30] Kori: it's, yeah, if you, if you are an amendment, like, if you, you're one of your identities If you're, if you're, it's mentioned in an amendment, it's a rough time to be you. And if you, and if multiple of your identities are, are crossed, then it's a very rough time to be, right?
[00:21:47] I think about like, uh, uh, FDR was in a wheelchair. First and last, non evil bodied person, president, and that, to me, the difference is cameras.
[00:22:05] Laura: Oh, interesting. You're saying he would never, in a modern day, with technology on, on people and cameras on people all the time, that that would have kept that from happening today?
[00:22:17] Kori: Possibly. It's like Abbott is in a wheelchair, so that's, you know, Texas. Oh, yeah. So back to Beyonce. It's like one of the things I'm really looking forward to in our Crawfish Boil is to keep digging into her, that music, right? I know that her work, her goal, her mission has lately has been to kind of like be teaching some of the history that we're not getting in schools and to kind of acknowledge, affirm, and bring to life.
[00:22:48] The role that black people have played in music. And so the Renaissance, um, album was about that and techno and the, uh, Cowboy Carter is about that in country music. And so I am working on my playlist for, uh, the Crawfish Boil. And so she is definitely going to be very present in that playlist. The St.
[00:23:15] Texas.
[00:23:17] Laura: Yes. Come on. You gotta do your woo.
[00:23:21] Keith's going to have to fix them levels. I love it. I love it. Um, that's going to be fantastic. So let's talk a little bit about. You mentioned crawfish boil. Let's talk about summer. I can't
[00:23:34] Kori: wait. So we already, we, we ordered a sack last week. So we cooked some last week. Just, you know, what our pats Trial run?
[00:23:42] Yes. Trial run? And this year, so the boys have been kind of not so interested, right? But this year, we just did it the other day, and they were crushing the crawfish. It was very exciting because we, we got some when we were in Louisiana in February and they were like, man, yeah, disgusting. Um, what made them get over that hump?
[00:24:07] What made them try it? I mean, I don't know. I feel like just continuing to talk to them about it and like the excitement. G loves a party, right? Like legit. He loves a party. Who's all coming? That's his favorite question. Who's all coming? Who's all coming? Is this the party? So, you know, we had his birthday party.
[00:24:25] Who's all coming? And now he wants to know the crawfish boil. Who's all coming? So cute. And, yes, so that's, that's his thing. So we were doing like a kind of trial run. They each had like a bowl. Daniel and I peeled a bunch for them. And they were like going to town. They had their water. It was adorable.
[00:24:42] That's awesome. I was thinking, because
[00:24:44] Laura: it's not really a super kid friendly looking food. That's for damn sure. It's got legs and eyes.
[00:24:49] Kori: Yeah, which, but they, so we get them alive, we purge them, which is like hose them off with water and salt because they are, they live in freshwater mud, basically. So we hose them off with water and salt to kind of like purge all that gunk out.
[00:25:05] Yep. And, um, they love that part because they're moving and they're alive and there's like, you know, they have energy and life. So the kids love participating in that part of it for sure. And last year, G was like helping for real. He loved, they both loved to help. J was a little too small at that point, but G was not.
[00:25:26] And so he was, you know, helping Uncle Omar, helping Papa. They were stirring the crawfish and all the stuff. And so, um This year, he is quite excited. They both are. I want
[00:25:41] Laura: crawfish! Crawfish. So cute. Well, you know, and when kids help, and when they're engaged in a task, they're more likely to eat it. They're more likely at least to try it.
[00:25:52] Kori: Yeah.
[00:25:52] Laura: Smart of you. Smart of you. And so,
[00:25:54] Kori: we're, uh, we're buying a moon bounce, a, a, uh, Yeah, because
[00:25:59] Laura: why rent this stuff if you're going to keep having people over?
[00:26:02] Kori: We're going to buy a wet, dry moon bounce so that when it's not wet weather, but it's still decent outside, like when it's not summery hot, hot, but it's still decent outside, we can still use it.
[00:26:14] Um, I told, I told Daniel, I was like, Hey, measure it to see if it'll fit on the patio so that we can have it in the back. Underneath the deck? No, it's too tall for that. But just like the patio that's right outside down at the bottom of the deck and right outside those doors in the back.
[00:26:31] Laura: Perfect.
[00:26:32] Kori: Um, like so that we can come and sit and they can play and we can be in the back and not like just in the driveway.
[00:26:38] I don't know. There's something about that. I just don't. If it's not a party, it's like, we don't need to have it in the driveway. Come over to our house, we've got homeowners insurance. Jump in our driveway. Yeah, jump in our driveway. Uh, yeah, so we're ordering that. It'll fit back there. Um, it's going to be super fun.
[00:26:55] That's like our, our main thing. And then we're going to travel, uh, for my mom's birthday. So that's what, that's what Jape's looking forward to. He's, he has named every member of the family. Okay. He is excited. He like, is excited about seeing all of them and getting in the water and playing and jumping and he's like super hyped.
[00:27:18] About that. G is also, he's more interested in just like being, getting on the airplane. The logistics.
[00:27:25] Laura: The logistical part of it. I get to have a suitcase with wheels on it. There. Yep.
[00:27:30] Kori: Uh huh. That's it. I'm going to be on a plane. I get to have my iPad. We're going to have snacks. Oh
[00:27:35] Laura: my god, what a cute birthday party theme.
[00:27:38] If you could do like an airport birthday party, like people come with their rolling suitcases. You're so funny. Getting in your little box, putting your, getting your snacks passed out. Oh my God, that'd be so cute. Maybe we could do that in the basement. I'll come up with some ideas for you.
[00:27:51] Kori: Yeah. Like a pho, we, or maybe that's like a photo booth for a birthday party, right?
[00:27:56] Yes. Set up the photo booth like a airplane. And they can look out the little porthole. Yeah. With their pretzels. Oh
[00:28:02] Laura: my God, cute, cute, cute. You guys are gonna have a great summer. And they're such a fun age to, to go and do and be with.
[00:28:08] Kori: Uh, yeah. Mm hmm. I'm just, my whole, my, my goal is to have Jay potty trained so we don't have to take diapers.
[00:28:15] Laura: I think that's a fantastic goal. Mm
[00:28:16] Kori: hmm. Because he's also going to start school in September.
[00:28:19] Laura: So it's
[00:28:19] Kori: like,
[00:28:20] Laura: this is happening in August. And so much of potty training is just letting them be naked and feel that they're having to go. And so. Yeah.
[00:28:26] Kori: Except for that guy. He's like, here, Mama, these, these underwear are wet.
[00:28:34] Like, well, where is the rest of that liquid that made them wet? It
[00:28:38] Laura: evaporated, Mama. That
[00:28:40] Kori: happened
[00:28:41] Laura: yesterday. OMG. We were gonna, but he doesn't like the wet. See, so like that's
[00:28:46] Kori: actually kind of good. Yeah, right. So my dad's like you, your, your diapers are too expensive. Like that's one of his problems. Like you need to get cheaper diapers so they can feel all that wet.
[00:28:58] Yeah, that's what he basically, like aren't you a physician? That feels kind of like not the right thing to do, right? Harsh. But he, that was one of the things he's like, I think he was like, I was doing some reading on those diapers you buy. Too many, too many ply, too plush. Way too absorbent. He's like, I seen him in them diapers, that diaper just hangs all off his skin away from his body.
[00:29:18] He's just out there feeling free bootied and everything. Right?
[00:29:22] Laura: I love it. Too fun.
[00:29:25] Kori: Yeah. I might do that shift of just like a not quite as absorbent pull up type thing and keep the absorbent diapers for nighttime for now and then have the less absorbent diapers for daytime for practice. You can do this.
[00:29:42] You can do it. Yeah, and that's what the summer, like you said, can be for. Summer at our house
[00:29:47] Laura: is going to be, yeah, free ranging is great. We're going to do swim team again in the morning, so it gives our day a little bit of structure. Um, we're going to do some, the kids are going to do a couple of camps each, like half day art kind of things.
[00:29:58] Um. Mm hmm. There is give yourself
[00:30:01] Kori: a little time to give yourself a little time.
[00:30:03] Laura: Yeah, all three Children will be at sleepaway camp the same week. The older she went last year. The, all three, the baby's old enough to go this year, they're all amped to go together. I'm going to have a whole week. What are you two going to do?
[00:30:17] A whole week. Five days. Five days. Five days. Monday through Friday of no kids around. I'm going to not know what to do with myself, quite honestly. Are you
[00:30:23] Kori: taking, do you take them on Sunday?
[00:30:25] Laura: No, you take them Monday, you pick them up Friday. So it's really like even shorter.
[00:30:29] Kori: So I'm going to need you and your husband to do like some several romantical things.
[00:30:42] I'll come up with some ideas. But I think yeah. You need to do some romantical things.
[00:30:48] Laura: Our anniversary is the next week, so at least getting out for a day and going away for dinner would be really nice.
[00:30:54] Kori: Yeah, and what if you like just We have no obstacles. And what if you just stayed overnight somewhere in a hotel because you're fancy and you're celebrating your
[00:31:01] Laura: anniversary.
[00:31:02] And you can. Not a bad idea. We gonna have some fun. It's gonna be great. Yeah, no, I'm looking forward to summer. I, you know, the taste of spring break and having the kids home. Uh, I really enjoyed them quite honestly, and I'm missing them this week. So I am ready for,
[00:31:19] Kori: I
[00:31:19] Laura: am, I told Dang, I was like, I'm good for like two days of this.
[00:31:23] And then you're like, buh bye. Buh bye. School will open again. I did, well, again, mine are different ages than yours. Yeah. But we just had fun. We did duck pin bowling. We went hiking. We did, you know, a couple little things and it was just, and we started binge watching a show together and it was just really fun to have time, just common experiences, just us.
[00:31:42] Yeah.
[00:31:43] Kori: It's I mean, I'm with you. I'm with that.
[00:31:46] Laura: Just like you're like, but for two days for now, we'll talk in a few years. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. For now. We wish everyone a lovely spring and summer. We are going to be taking a break because the pace of life come May and June is a little bananas.
[00:32:03] Kori: And we want to spend time with our families and our babies like we hope you'll be
[00:32:06] Laura: able to as well.
[00:32:07] Because we are divorcing ourselves of white supremacy culture and the urgency and need to publish every other week, right? So there's that. Um, hope you have a wonderful summer. Would love to hear what you're going to be doing with your time off. If you get, if you were able to carve some away, we highly recommend that.
[00:32:23] And, uh, we can't wait to show you what's in store for season four. Thank you for listening to Pussing,
[00:32:31] Kori: Pussing Past Polite.
[00:32:34] Laura: Try that again. Puss past it!
[00:32:35] Kori: Puss past it!
[00:32:37] Laura: I'm not passing that anywhere. You better watch your mouth.
[00:32:41] Kori: Thank you for listening to Pushing Past Polite, where we talk about what matters and make the world more just.
[00:32:47] I'm Laura. I'm Kori. Next season, we're going to have some more guests.
[00:32:53]Laura: Stay tuned. Stay tuned. We'll introduce you to some more friends. Take care. Bye.
Kori: Thanks for listening to Pushing Past Polite. We encourage you to go deeper in your trusted spaces and find new space for good conversation.
Laura: You'll find episodes, transcripts, and lots of other goodies at our website, pushingpastpolitepodcast.com. You can also connect with us on Instagram, Facebook, and TikTok at Pushing Past Polite.
Kori: Pushing Past Polite is an independent podcast with Kori and Laura from Just Educators. Our cover
Laura: art was designed by Rachel Welsh De Iga of De Iga Design, and our audio is produced by Keith at Headset Media. Until next time, don't get stuck talking about the weather. Push past polite.
Kori: See you next time.
Little Dude: Bye bye.
Laura: Jay, you did perfect!
