Meeting the parents, wedding crashing, and Aquaphor on Qtips (Ep.28)
Sneak peek of Episode 28
Show notes and sneak peek
We start with Kori sharing the joys of having young kids in school for the first time. That’s right. Funk. Germy, nasty funk. And we then reminisced about the wonderful experience of attending a wedding where Laura was supporting her client, the father of the bride named Tony who is one of Kori’s oldest friends. So not only did Laura get to see Kori and her husband and sons, but she got to meet her parents, Joni and Dr. Chip! <Swoon> Pretty dope is an understatement. We discussed the sense of community Kori’s childhood church in California provided for her and her peers - and Laura got to meet so many of these folks at the wedding too. It was beautiful to behold. Kori shared how the parents in this church looked out for all the kids, cheered them on - even gave them a place of respite when things got tricky with their own parents. Kori’s parents were very visible and involved - building their lives around being there for their three kids and all their friends.
Laura had a different experience, which she gives a nod to next, and then she shares how it was very important to her to “come correct” to a party where she was a guest at a party that involved many people of color. It was important to her to learn and pronounce every name correctly, to welcome them warmly and not assume she was to be a part of every conversation and interaction. This group of folks though? From my client to Kori’s childhood friends to their parents - everyone welcomed her with open arms in a way that touched her deeply.
Laura reflected how it takes a lot of bravery to be a person of color - particularly a Black woman - and be open to friendships with white folks - particularly white women - who are generally frequent perpetrators of microaggressive (if not aggressive) behavior. And Kori blew Laura’s mind by rightly acknowledging the privilege baked into being able to choose who to associate with in some spaces. She pointed out that in many workplaces as a Black woman - particular in academia - white women are the dominant group. Kori shared how she intentionally chose a neighborhood where she would not be a minority - and how she moves through predominantly white spaces with a sense of caution and awareness.
Laura shared a post that stuck with her from Activist and Influencer Luvvie Ajayi about what it takes for Luvvie to have a sincere friendship with a white woman. We’ll post it on our website so you can see it. Kori and Laura reflect on what they appreciate in their friendship - permission to be fully human, to not diminish each others’ feelings, and to allow each other to process without judgment. We make each other better.
Aaaand then Laura blushes as Kori shares some sweet stories about Laura’s kids. And Laura reciprocates with how much she loves being “Aunt Lola” to Kori’s boys. The ladies both agree how connections through blood aren’t everything - and how they have critical connections to people unrelated to them - like Kori with Stan (listen to here more).
Laura shared anxiety about the election, and Kori shared her take - how she’s less focused on our election and more about the power struggle between good and evil in the world more broadly - and how, as a Black woman, she knows minoritized groups will bear the brunt of whomever is in leadership because social change is a long game. Oof. After sharing our perspectives, which have some commonalities and differences, we come back to the shared experience of the wedding - and how this is JUST what we need. Chances to be human, to connect beyond difference, and see common humanity.
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Resources
The Luvvie Ajayi Jones post that Laura shared. Link to to her instagram.
Transcript
[00:00:00] Laura: Um, I heard you hawking that lugey earlier.
[00:00:03] Kori: It's been bad like last night. Um, this is gonna be TMI, obviously I'm here for it, but, um, so I was in, it felt like anybody's listening. It's just us, right? Just us . I was in bed and, you know, I have like my boss of tissue and stuff and I was like blowing my nose and everything.
And then it was just like, you know, I felt something so I was kinda like, you know, oh God. Oh God. But then it like came out real loose. Because it was blood.
[00:00:32] Laura: Oh, oh, oh, oh, oh. Bless your heart. You blew your nose that hard? Yeah. Or things were just so
[00:00:37] Kori: thin and Yeah. Funky up there? And so then it's like dark.
I'm like fumbling around Daniel's sleep. I'm like fumbling around in the dark. And then I go in the bathroom and I'm like, why am I still in the dark? Like, close the door and
[00:00:50] Laura: turn
[00:00:51] Kori: the
[00:00:52] Laura: light on. What are you doing? Don't make this harder on yourself. Exactly. Exactly. That's not a fun cleanup. No.
[00:01:11] Kori: Welcome to Pushing Past Polite, where we talk about what matters and make the world more just. I'm Kory. And I'm Laura. Let's get into it. So glad you're here. Hilarious. Yeah. Anyway. So I was bleeding and so I got us to stop and then I put some like Aquaphor in there and. Oh in there? Mm hmm. Like with a, with a Q tip, you know, Q tips aren't supposed to go in your ears.
[00:01:40] Laura: Oh my god, I forgot about that. I still use them, by the way, every day. I have to. I don't like that water in my ear feeling, even though I had a Q tip before. Tip, part of it come loose in my ear that has caused me months of weird pain. You, if you do use Q tips, you should just use the baby Q tips cause you know they're like.
Oh, the thick ones
[00:01:59] Kori: that
[00:01:59] Laura: have,
[00:01:59] Kori: yeah. And then they can't get as far in.
[00:02:01] Laura: Well, it's not even, I guess that's it. I guess that's it. I was gonna say, I hit it and can't quit it. What can I say? I need a Q tip in my life. Yeah, but it's
[00:02:07] Kori: like, they just like, it just won't even allow you to get as deep. Yeah.
[00:02:10] Laura: Well, the problem, it wasn't like the whole thing came off.
It was just a little bit of cotton. Right, but I pushed it in there, I guess. Exactly. I think that's your point.
[00:02:19] Kori: Yeah, that's my point. That's enough. So, but I did use a Q tip in my nose to lubricate it with some Aquaphor. I've never thought of doing that.
[00:02:28] Laura: Yeah. A new trick. Thank you. You're welcome. And it helped, you know?
I bet it did. If it was so dry that you were getting a nosebleed without even
[00:02:36] Kori: And that was like the second one I've gotten. In a way. I was on the fa on FaceTime with my mom, and she was like, it's bleeding . It's bleeding
Joanie is freaking out. You're dad, you're
[00:02:48] Laura: bleeding out your face.
[00:02:50] Kori: I was like, yeah, I guys, she's like, stop it. I was like, mom, I'm moving to get the things I like. I, I'm, I'm not a magician.
[00:02:58] Laura: Sorry, you're getting from receipt to this. Um,
[00:03:01] Kori: did
[00:03:01] Laura: they go home?
[00:03:03] Kori: Yeah, they left from Charlotte.
[00:03:05] Laura: Oh.
[00:03:06] Kori: And they went to Atlanta.
Okay. And they visited with some of their friends and they visited with my sister in law's parents, my brother's wife's parents. Clarence's wife's parents. Oh, that's
[00:03:18] Laura: nice.
[00:03:18] Kori: Mm hmm. So lovely. They, um, they live in Atlanta and I don't know if they've met them before.
[00:03:23] Laura: Oh, I thought you were implying that they were really good friends and they just hang out.
[00:03:27] Kori: No.
[00:03:27] Laura: There's a, they have another set of friends that they, that live there that they they were visiting those friends as the anchor, they ventured out to sea. Yeah. I don't know. Like,
[00:03:36] Kori: cause, uh, my sister in law's mother doesn't fly. Okay. And so I don't think she's ever come out west where they live, right?
They Were they at the wedding?
[00:03:47] Laura: Did they see each
[00:03:48] Kori: other at
[00:03:48] Laura: the wedding?
[00:03:49] Kori: There wasn't really a wedding. They got married at the courthouse. Love it. Like, my, my parents made it because they drove. They almost didn't even make it. It's all right. Listen.
[00:04:00] Laura: Yeah. Whatever works for you. Yeah. Yeah. Um, so I got to meet your parents this weekend and I, I love them.
They're pretty dope. Pretty dope. That's an understatement. Just lovely. Like your dad. I don't know if you know, did I tell you this? And he came up to me and said, I just want to thank you for being such a good friend to my daughter. I almost cried. I'm going to cry now. I know. It was really sweet. It was really sweet.
Like, I mean, they gave me a big hug, like they've known me my whole life. I know. And sweetest thing. And Joni and I were chatting at the wedding about, you know, how she knew that Chip was the one and the people she had dated before and the kind of leadership. She didn't use that word, but like the leadership that they provided in your friend group and in your community.
Right. That they were in everybody's game and they were, you know, mama and mama and daddy Hamilton, if you know, you need something, we're going to be there for you or, and that was kind of our community. There was like
[00:05:03] Kori: there, it was like that we wouldn't, when we were growing up, you know, we talk about sometimes our church experiences.
Ooh.
[00:05:10] Laura: Hello. I see that hair. Hey there.
[00:05:12] Kori: Um.
[00:05:12] Laura: Cori fixed her hair and made it a little more interesting.
[00:05:15] Kori: It was like something about Mary here. Um, but it was like that. Like, um, I, there was a big track meet that happens every year called the Mt. Sac Relays. And like, my pastor would be there. My like, I would have all these people in the stands who were part of like our church family.
And
[00:05:41] Laura: You know, and I met some of those people too. So, okay. The reason why Kori and I saw each other and I met her parents is that I, um, went to a wedding of a mutual friend of hers. It's a long story, but you were life wifing. I was life wifing. I was doing my, my entrepreneurial thing, supporting, um, a father of the bride so he could be present a single dad, right?
So he didn't have another, a partner to think through the day. So we did some preparation ahead of time, and then I wanted him to be freed up to be with his daughter. And so I got to go. I was treated like family, which was so incredibly lovely and generous. And I got to meet with all the people, all your people from your childhood, all your California friends from when you were young.
And I'm talking about little Kori and how she was like this as a little girl, you would, you know, there's no surprise that she is who she is now because we knew her then. And she was just like that then. Yeah. It was so lovely. Yeah. Just lovely. Yeah. It was cool. So anyway, I got to, and, and they were talking about, uh, Joni, your mom was talking about how your dad, even though he was a doctor, you know, normally the, the deal is, well, hey, when I'm off work, I'll come see you.
He would block off his calendar and say, I can't see patients from two to four. Kori has a track meet. Or I can't do this because Christian's going to be here. And every week he would settle up and set his schedule to make sure they never missed anything.
[00:07:04] Kori: He was at, they were at everything. I mean, he was taking me to practice, you know what I mean?
He was, he would, he would leave work in Fontana, drive, to Rancho and then drive back to Fontana or Rialto to take me to basketball practice. You know? He was like, they were, they were very present. We were in all kinds of activities and they were, they were always there.
[00:07:30] Laura: I feel like they were ahead of their time in that way because that's not, that was not the expectation of dads a generation ago.
Right?
[00:07:38] Kori: Yeah. But that was the expectation of dads in my house.
[00:07:42] Laura: Because of mom. And
[00:07:44] Kori: yeah. And his own dad was very present. Cool. Well, again, all the more they were ahead of their time in so many ways. Yeah, yeah, yeah. My, I never met my dad's father. He passed the March before I was born.
[00:07:57] Laura: Okay.
[00:07:58] Kori: But everything I've ever heard about Crow, um, he, he's also Clarence.
He's the first. Oh, got it. Uh, and my brother's the third, right? My dad's the second. I
[00:08:09] Laura: didn't even put that together. Yeah, Chip, short for Clarence. That makes sense. Yeah,
[00:08:13] Kori: Chip off the old block.
[00:08:14] Laura: That's where he got his nickname from. Oh, cute. Mm. So Clarence Original, who was Crow, Clarence Junior, your dad, who's Chip, Chip off the old block, and then Clarence the third, who's Clarence, who got his name.
He gets to keep that. He gets to keep it. No, that's really impressive because, you know, for my parents, and again, I love my dad. I have no ill, no bad feelings, but the way that things worked in my house was that dad worked. Right. Dad made the money. Mom took care of the kids. And so dad was tired, right, from working.
And so dad would go home and decompress while mom would take us to, you know, the swim meets or whatever. I don't really remember my dad being at that. He would come to like, if I had a play, if I was in a play in high school, you know, like a big performance or a dance recital or something like that, but not the way you're describing, um, which I think is really special.
And it sounds like they did that not only for you and your siblings. But they did that for other kids, too, in the church, in the community.
[00:09:14] Kori: Like, but it was, it was a reciprocation. That's what, you know, like, I remember Everybody did that for each other. Is that what you're saying? Everyone did that for each other.
Yeah. Like, I remember me and my mom got in this huge fight when I was, like, 16. And I, I, like, left the house. With like the clothes I was wearing and some stuff in a bag and I walked three miles or five miles or something to mom Connie's house.
[00:09:39] Laura: Oh, who I met this weekend too. Who you met.
[00:09:41] Kori: And Brandy. Who you met.
I walked there and I stayed there for like a week. Oh wow. You were serious. You were big mad, first of all. I was big mad. Big mad. And I mean, so I was like going, I didn't have underwear, nothing. I was going to, they were, they both were going to Cal State Northridge at the time and they were commuting. And so I was going with them to campus in class.
But your parents knew that Aunt Connie had you. Like, as soon as I got to the house, it was, you know, they called and I didn't know that obviously in the, at the moment, but like, you know, Connie called and said, Cory's here. She's fine. Whatever. And John was like another dad, you know, and my nickname, my nickname in high school and stuff was Butterfly.
And he always called me his butterfly.
[00:10:33] Laura: Oh, that is really sweet. To have that kind of community ownership of the kiddos that he had a nickname for you. That's really sweet. I still have. When
[00:10:48] Kori: they came. When I, I think I was a college student and Brandy and Rashida came to D. C. for some event and um, it was in the summer so my birthday was, was happening.
And they brought me this um, snow globe with butterflies in it. And I still have it. I love it. Yeah. That's really special. Yeah.
[00:11:12] Laura: Well, I understand, I feel like I understand you more. Meeting your parents. First of all, your mom and you could be twins and that woman, I mean, you're, you look gorgeous at this wedding.
Your mama looked gorgeous at this wedding. Those jeans are good. Let me just tell you. Damn. Damn. Y'all look gorgeous. Um, copy paste. I mean, I'm not afraid to age. I would not be afraid of aging if I were you at all. Cause damn, she looks gorgeous. She just does. Um, but she's been working at it too. Like they've
[00:11:46] Kori: been, yeah.
[00:11:47] Laura: Well that actually makes me feel a little better. It's not like, Oh
[00:11:49] Kori: yeah, I just, you know, eat like crap and here I am. No, they've been working at it because she was feeling heavy and all the things. And so like they got a trainer, they go to the gym, they've been trying to eat better and they've been trimming down because she, she turned 70 in August.
And she wanted to look and feel how she wanted to look and feel going into that. And so I love it. Well, they've been
[00:12:15] Laura: working at it. I don't have the before picture in my mind, but I see the after That should be a good google review for that trainer Um, but I also feel like I understand you better seeing like that community of people, right?
so I was in the room with them before you came in and You know saw how lovely they were and how welcoming and kind and You All of that. And you came in and it was like a celebrity got there because of this, the nature of the reunion, right? And you guys live on some of you on different coasts. Some of them hadn't met your husband, hadn't met your babies.
And everybody just scooped up those boys like they were theirs and are taking selfies with your kids, your poor kids. They'd been up for God knows how many hours. It was like nine o'clock. They hadn't eaten dinner. But they, everybody just loved on your family. And then when we left,
[00:13:05] Kori: they cried. The boys did.
Did they really? So on Sunday, you know, we did the brunch after. And I have all of these pictures with Auntie Destiny and Auntie Elise and just like snuggled on them so tight. And Destiny carried G out of the restaurant because he didn't want to let her go. So sweet. So sweet. That is just so sweet. And what makes it even more sweet and special is Destiny and Yuri are the daughters of Tony's late brother.
Yes. And we never met
[00:13:49] Laura: them. You had never met them prior, but now because, since Ronnie's been gone, that Tony enjoys He's been gone
[00:13:58] Kori: for a long while, but they lived, it was about mending their relationship with their mom before we could, you know, before Not me, like him ending that relationship with their mom and reengaging them with the family.
And so I have this photo from when that started, when they were like 11 years old or something, like 11, 12, that like range. I think Destiny was like 13 maybe, and Yuri was four, whatever. I had them recreate
[00:14:34] Laura: the photo at the wedding, right? Yeah. You had that same photo of them at 11 and 12 with Tony, their uncle, and then you took that picture again at the wedding.
[00:14:42] Kori: Yes. Because it was like that photo was the first time that he was able to spend time with them, right? And, and they were entering into their, they were in their adolescence. And so now looking 12 years
[00:14:59] Laura: or 13 years later to see that one of those girls was in a bridesmaid in the wedding of her first cousin, that that connection is really strong, that's pretty beautiful too.
Mm hmm. Wow. That's, it's beautiful. I don't, you know, I think probably a function of having moved, uh, probably a function of just different culture, honestly, like I don't, I did not have that experience growing up and I don't, you know, I was talking, I think it was to Nikki. About how she said, she's like, this is like coming home.
Like this is, it feels like home wherever I am with these people. And, uh, I think that's so beautiful. And I was honored to be invited into it, to be, you know, a witness to it. The people, you know, took me because I was a friend of yours. I was instantly a friend of theirs too. It was really lovely. And
[00:15:46] Kori: you were a huge hit.
I have not stopped receiving the, the feedback about how amazing you were, how wonderful you were and how great it was for you to work with and how, you know, like you made everyone feel so comfortable. Like people's minds were blown with the fact that you knew everybody's name.
[00:16:09] Laura: Yeah. Like
[00:16:10] Kori: their minds were completely blown.
And the fact that. It mattered to you, right? That it was important to you to know all of the people. Yeah. And that just spoke volumes about you to them.
[00:16:26] Laura: It's very generous. Um, relationships do matter a lot to me. And I could tell even from working with client, with Tony for a short amount of time that relationships mattered to him and that he didn't raise this daughter by himself in a vacuum, right?
That this community was important to him. But, um, you know, more than that, I just think, sorry. Um, as a white person being invited into a space that, um, you know, this is a community of people of color that had grown up together. And I just really wanted to, um, make sure that I was really respectful of that, that I was, uh, a guest in that situation, that this was not, you know, Laura's in charge of this thing.
Like I, I really wanted to make sure that people, um, at the very least felt like I was. I was honored to be a part of that because I truly was and I think that became more clear to me over the course of the weekend and seeing, um, the way that you all interact and treated each other and the kind of history you have.
And I just wanted to come, I wanted to come right. You did, I really did. That mattered to me. You came correct. Caster. Thanks. Thanks. I, uh, came correct. Yep. I was like, let me get the pronunciations right. I had a spreadsheet. This is a surprise. Of course, because we were giving gifts out to people who came.
And so I was like, let me check the pronunciation on this one. Is this Luis or Lewis? Is this, you know, uh, Marcia or Marcy when you get that right, you know, so anyway, it was. It's super affirming and lovely and I, you know, amidst a backdrop in a culture where I feel like during DEI being a high and popular thing, a la 2020 and then now the backlash against it, I feel like,
Oh, where was I going with that? I just told you to brain fart.
[00:18:20] Kori: I don't know. Shoot. Also, you looked gorgeous, and I hope that we're able, did we get any pictures of our whole bodies? I don't think so, but that's also okay with me. Yeah, but I think we should try to post at least a photo. I will. Or two. Can I
[00:18:38] Laura: put a couple with you and the kids with a little heart over their faces, because I know privacy matters to you, but dang, that picture of you, full length with that leg slit and that dress, and you just happen to be holding a little baby's hand.
Yeah. Yeah. But I was like, what baby? Cause all I see is this. You look like an Oscar, like the statue. Oh, nice. Yeah, it's beautiful.
[00:19:00] Kori: I wanted to like be in the vibe, like the color palette of the wedding. You did it, you know, did you, I guess you knew. Was it for the invitation
[00:19:09] Laura: or you asked? You
[00:19:10] Kori: planned for this.
Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Also, um, this. Um, in a couple of weeks, I'm going to, I'm, I'm being you for an event for my friends who are celebrating their 50th wedding anniversary. Love. And they're having like a vow renewal and a, and a reception and they're just amazing human beings. And um, their colors are also gold and Black.
Perfect. And so I was like, I wanted to have a dress that I could wear to both events. Um, It's 50th
[00:19:46] Laura: golden anniversary, is that right? Golden,
[00:19:48] Kori: yeah. Perfect. Uh huh. Yep. Perfect, perfect, perfect. Yep. Yep. So. Oh,
[00:19:52] Laura: I knew where I was going with that earlier thought. Okay.
[00:19:54] Kori: I'm back. Back to the DEI.
[00:19:58] Laura: Well, so, you know, I think about our own workplace, our former workplace, right, where we were and how there was a lot of education, a la to around 2020, around microaggressions and implicit bias and things that suddenly were coming to the fore, uh, for some people for the first time.
Um, I remember, you know, again, once, once it becomes explicit, once that becomes a part of the culture, like seeing it more and more in terms of well meaning people, or sometimes not well meaning, who would perpetrate microaggressions against you, against other people of color, against other, you know, different groups of folks in our organization.
And I, and, and of course seeing it handled right and handled wrong, right? Both how to repair and how to defend yourself, which is not the right posture to take. But I guess like something that I've just been reflecting on after the weekend is, you know, I think you're a better person than me in a lot of ways, but like, I think I would really struggle to trust a white person because I just, for me, like, you know me, I mean, I'm, I'm not going to cut you off for no reason, but once you show me who you are, I'm good to create some space.
And that's just how I operate. Like if you you. You don't, nobody, nobody deserves to be in my life just because of blood or because of any kind of position. But that's also a privileged
[00:21:22] Kori: position. Hmm. Right? Because I live in a environment in the society that is dominated by white people.
[00:21:29] Laura: Hmm.
[00:21:31] Kori: And so, you know, I, I talk about, like, look at our, look at our work environment that we were in.
It was mostly white women.
[00:21:44] Laura: I never thought about that angle. Because where I was going with that was. Because I'm so careful about myself and my health and my, you know, being my best self and not being around people who don't bring that out of me, that I think I'd be really quick to cut people off. And then I think that stereotype of being standoffish or cold or angry, quote unquote, right, would be really easy to apply to me.
And so I hadn't thought about that as being a dimension of privilege. Mm hmm.
[00:22:14] Kori: I mean, and that's part of the reason I love where I live. And
[00:22:17] Laura: that was an intentional choice on your part. Mm
[00:22:19] Kori: hmm. Because it's like, I don't, that's one element that I don't have to kind of deal with in my community every day. Like, walking around my neighborhood while being Black does not get me followed and questioned.
You know, like, what are you, what are you doing here? You know, that doesn't happen here. Because Most of the people who are walking around are people of color. Mm-Hmm. . Mm-Hmm. . But in, in the workspace, in our work setting, that's not the case. You have no
[00:22:55] Laura: choice but to, Mm-Hmm. . Mm-Hmm. .
[00:22:58] Kori: And it's so much more work to, it's like it's easier to be open than to trust no one.
And the, the, the way in which I try to. Mm. Allow individual people to show me who they are is what I would encourage people to do for everyone, right? We have this tendency of stereotyping marginalized and minoritized communities and exceptional, exceptionalizing individuals. You're just an exception to the rule and not, um, applying.
Which is a microaggressive thing, by the way, for people to say. Which is a microaggressive thing. Oh, you're one of the good ones. Yeah. Right. But it's like, why not assume that that's the standard and that the, you know, claw, the machine is producing a narrative that actually isn't reflective of the people, right?
And it's, I've had some interactions and I talk about this when I do trainings, right? Interactions with white women, but I can't stop having interactions with white women. They're everywhere. They're everywhere in the kind of, they're everywhere in the kind of work that I do. God, we're everywhere. Yes. You know, and the kind of work that I do, I, we do work in education spaces.
[00:24:23] Laura: Mm-Hmm.
[00:24:24] Kori: You know, we know the data around who the educators are. Um, you know, so it doesn't, it doesn't behoove me or serve me to, uh, be completely untrusting and, and closed off. Now I do move with caution. Mm-Hmm. , you know, and I allow, and a deep sense of awareness and a deep sense of awareness. You, but you know.
[00:24:53] Laura: Well, I just know, well, okay, so, so this, so the wedding all happened this weekend and I had these amazing interactions and this beautiful picture of who you are and this community that was so loving and so accepting, which I do not take lightly, especially given that backdrop that we were just talking about.
And then, uh, I don't know if I'm saying it right. Awesomely Luvvie. She's one of the, she's a, I love following her stuff. She's fantastic. I'll link to her stuff. But, um, she had posted last week, um, someone had asked her, I'm not trying to be controversial with this question. I promise you, but can white and Black people truly be friends?
And she wrote, I think it's possible. I have a few white women. I actually consider actual friends. Women I'd stand with and by. Women who give me hope in a dark world. What allows us to be friends is they're actively good people who take action. They don't do fragility and beckery. And I can trust them with both my rage and my joy.
They're also funny AF and a good time to be around. They feel safe. And so, I, um, was reflecting on that and just thinking about how when somebody does Let you into their life someone who could easily be harmed by you how important it is to see that as the honor and The rest like to take that so very seriously And to see that as a place of honor in somebody's life.
And I just wanted to, like, take the moment to think about that and tell you that I do. Um, that I'm really honored by the fact that you consider me a friend. Um, when it would have been easy to be guarded and maybe be, like I said, not as good of a person like I would have been.
You know, and again, I've not been perfect, right? We've had times where we've, we've had to have conversations and, um, you know, I just really both in both
[00:26:34] Kori: directions, right? I think one of the things that, um, is we lead with our humanity first. And, um, one of the things I very much appreciate about you is that you never try to tell me how I feel, right?
You know, if, if I share something with you about an experience, an interaction that we've had, or an experience that I've had that You've been on a periphery to, or observed, or anything, your reaction is, your response is never to be like, to diminish my feelings. I'm glad you feel that way. That's huge though, right?
Because I'm able to come to you, things, and you acknowledge and validate the, those feelings. And then we are able to have a conversation about perspectives, right? And that space that we have with each other. It's where the friendship is.
[00:27:44] Laura: Yes. You make me better.
[00:27:48] Kori: You make me better too.
[00:27:51] Laura: Love you.
[00:27:51] Kori: You know.
Yeah. Love you back. Thanks, man. We're able to hold space for each other. And then, can I please? Share. I think everyone, I want you to know that I don't know where this is
[00:28:05] Laura: going. I'm really excited
[00:28:07] Kori: to see what's going. Laura is raising some of the most wonderful humans on the planet.
[00:28:13] Laura: Oh my God. I don't know why I'm getting all emotional.
It's me too now. But Ellie.
[00:28:23] Kori: My middle girl. My middle child. The middle child is an artist. We've talked about this before on the pod. She is an artist and she, all your kids have huge hearts for like, they're, you're very, very, very, um, socially aware, compassionate, um, empathetic kids, um, who are also very smart and talented in other ways.
Right. But you're, you're, you're raising these very conscientious children. And anyway, Ellie. Um, uh, we had, she had made some art one day and we were talking on either recording a pod or just talking and she showed it and I was like, Oh, that's so cool. I want one of those. And she made me one, everyone. And she slipped it into Laura's luggage because she
[00:29:23] Laura: knew that Laura was going to be seeing me.
Because she knows her mom is such a goober and can't remember to go to the post office. And said this to you, we've had this thing for months. It doesn't even
[00:29:33] Kori: matter. And she wrote the sweetest note on the back of that thing. I didn't see the note. I'm not going to even share it because it's mine. No, that is for you, but she wrote the sweetest note.
Oh And and I showed it to Daniel and then he like propped it up in the in the hotel room So it would be on display. So cute and it was just like Wow. Oh, our friendship is
[00:30:05] Laura: a family situation when you're babies. When we, I walked Daniel and the boys to the room so you could hang out with your friends a little longer.
I thought, okay, let me see if I can be helpful as it turned out. Of course, Daniel was a boss and had it all handled, but I said goodnight to all of them so they could get to sleep. Brought their little warm milk. I go to the hallway. And Jay opens up the door. Aunt Lola, Aunt Lola, can you come back and play for a little longer?
Baby, I would love to so much. Daddy's got this. Daddy's had a long day too. You guys get your showers, get to bed. I'm going to see you tomorrow. Okay. So now close the door real careful. Watch those fingers. So you close the door, hear it click, and then it opens again. Eh, Lola? How about now? Can you come play now?
Eh, Lola? Oh my god. As you know, Kori, but listeners may not, I have one sister who does not have any kiddos, and we don't necessarily have the best relationship, even if she did. Um, And my husband's an only child, so no one calls me Aunt Lola. No one does, except for your boys. And I treasure it. I really do.
Um, so, sorry, I don't want to make this like a brag on Laura's kids situation, because I didn't know you were going there, but I have to Oh!
[00:31:22] Kori: Are you going to tell the Huddy thing?
[00:31:24] Laura: Which one?
[00:31:24] Kori: The one that, the message that you sent me. About math. No,
[00:31:33] Laura: this one's sweeter. Yeah. He texts me at school and says like, I got a, whatever it was like 102 or something and some.
math assessment. He's like, this is a high school level course. I'm a seventh grader. And yes, this is a flex. Okay. So my kid might be empathetic. He definitely borders between confident and cocky at times. Hey, he's a middle schooler. That's right. That's where he, that's, Oh my God. That's age appropriate. I guess, I guess.
I try to keep him humble. But that is a flex, Laura. It is a flex and he is It is a
[00:32:03] Kori: flex. Yeah. And, and let, let's let him enjoy that flex that he Absolutely. Is crushing it. I told him flex all day. Flex
[00:32:10] Laura: all day. That was so cute though. I sent you the screenshot. I was like, my kid just flexed in a text. And by the way, that took a lot of work because he doesn't have a phone.
So he's doing it like letter by letter on his little Apple Watch. Yeah. That's so funny. Yeah. Um, this is what Another flex. This is not a flex, but this is something he didn't even know I saw. Um, but we just this week had to write a bunch of, I wrote a bunch of cards to folks, people who lost a parent, someone who lost a grandparent, someone who found out that they have a pretty serious illness.
And I told my kids like, Hey, listen, you don't have to, but if you'd like, I'm going to leave these cards on the counter for a little while. If you want to add anything, because all these people are special to you in different ways, you know? And um, my youngest is like, do I have to, what do I write? You know, like how she is.
She's like, can I write the same thing in all of them? Yes, you may, you know, and Ellie struggled a little bit with what to write. But side note,
[00:33:05] Kori: she does, she writes something. She
[00:33:08] Laura: absolutely did. So it's like, even if it's the same
[00:33:10] Kori: thing, it's like, that's her
[00:33:12] Laura: way. But for our friend who found out that they have an illness.
I found this and I took a picture because I was like, I want to remember this. He wrote, I was devastated to hear the news. I'm sure it's still a shock. Just know that you have someone in your corner who can't wait for you to ring that bell after treatment. Sending love, Hudson. And I was like, Uh huh, he wrote that.
That wasn't
[00:33:36] Kori: me. I thought you were saying that the friend, so this is what your son wrote to your friend who found out who had an illness. This is what
[00:33:45] Laura: the Yes. That is what my 12, almost 13 year old boy wrote on his own. That's what
[00:33:49] Kori: I'm saying. This is what I'm saying, everyone. This is what I'm saying.
Well, again,
[00:33:52] Laura: this is not a flex for Laura. This is just like, I have been gifted these incredible, like, they're just incredible. They're really cool babies. That's,
[00:34:00] Kori: no.
[00:34:01] Laura: Stop. Stop. I'm not saying I take no credit for it. Okay. But I'm just saying, a lot of who they are, like I said, the third one who's like, do I have to?
A lot of who they are comes pre baked. But she still did it. Yeah.
[00:34:11] Kori: I know.
[00:34:12] Laura: That's what I'm
[00:34:13] Kori: saying. Yeah. It's like. Oh, there's
[00:34:14] Laura: parenting
[00:34:15] Kori: too, for
[00:34:15] Laura: sure. For sure.
[00:34:16] Kori: For sure. It's, you could have, you could have had the same people in different circumstances or have a different mentality or different way of being and they would be different.
[00:34:28] Laura: Mm hmm. Mm hmm. Right? Yes. All this to say They look so different. Yeah. Thank you for I did not You know you were going to bring that up about Ellie, but I couldn't help because that was just super sweet. That
[00:34:40] Kori: was
[00:34:40] Laura: like the sweetest thing. I know. I know. That was And she wrote this Like, please don't lose that.
She wrote
[00:34:45] Kori: this note.
[00:34:46] Laura: I love I love that. I love I love that she did. I don't know what was on the back, but Yeah. I know she loves you. I have to make room in my office so I can have it. I can put it up. Well, similarly, in the same way that I don't have nieces and nephews, they don't have cousins and aunties.
Right. So, or uncles, so this is, they think of you that way too, um, which is a gift for them as well.
[00:35:08] Kori: And in my family, everyone's a cousin or an auntie, right? I know! Uncle Tony, Aunt Elise, Auntie Destiny, everybody is a cousin or an auntie. Grandma Connie, like everybody is like, and, and so John Carl asked me the other day, he's like, let me, do I have any fake uncles?
Do you even have uncles? We don't have any fake uncles. Okay. It's amazing. Everyone around here is your, is your real uncle. Like, are your real aunt. Like, because the blood is not what makes them real. That's right. You know, like. That's right. Two, two nights ago I was teaching my class, Daniel was held up and couldn't make it.
Who showed up? Uncle Stan. Mm hmm. And did they even notice I was missing? Absolutely not. Is Stan my biological brother? No, he is not. Is he Uncle Stan? 100%. All day. All day. Yeah. All day. They didn't even notice I was not here. Like, not available. He got the dinner going. He was here within 10 minutes. I was able to start teaching the class.
[00:36:15] Laura: And Uncle Stan had it. No problem. I'm not asking you to speak on behalf of all Black people everywhere, clearly. But is this, is this Like, I, I'm, and now I'm like, I clearly don't speak for all white people everywhere either, but how much of this is cultural? How much of this is like, how special your community was at that point in time and this church being the center of that?
Like, is this typical? Because as people who are worn out from parenting alone, like a village is what you need.
[00:36:42] Kori: Yeah. I mean, this was typical for us, so I don't know if it's typical for everybody, right? You can't. But yeah, it was typical for us and relationships are important to me,
[00:36:54] Laura: right?
[00:36:54] Kori: And so they always have been important to me.
Yes. And so like even in the church community, I did everything. I was working in like the cafe and in the sound room and in the, uh, the children's church. Like, you know, I was all over, uh, the, the church. We were going to date proms together and, you know, like we were very. Um, we were on travel teams together and you know, we were, our lives were connected in a lot of different ways.
Um, and then when we, when I got to college where I met Stan, um, you guys were on a
[00:37:38] Laura: team together, which is probably a huge part of that. We were, we were in track together. Yeah.
[00:37:41] Kori: And, but like he was basically assigned to me, so I, see this girl, take care of her. Um, but I went to, I went to, I ran track. My club high, my high school club coach was an Olympic coach.
Hmm. The men's head coach at the college that I went to was an Olympian
[00:38:09] Laura: Uhhuh that he had coached,
[00:38:10] Kori: that he had coached. He's an Olympic gold medalist. That's a flex
[00:38:15] Laura: too, by the way.
[00:38:17] Kori: And so we had that like connection, like his coach was my coach. Right? Mm-Hmm. In, in, in, in so many terms. And so when I got there, I had this special bond with that coach who was the men's coach.
Yep. Okay. And so, um, he was like, you know, I could always kind of reach out to him, talk to him when I was dealing with all the racism of being on the track team at this white institution with white coaches and white women. Hmm. And, um, so, but he was like a safe place, right? And so when, uh, um, Stan got there, I was a junior, he was a freshman.
Um, the coach asked, or basically told us, like, he said, hey, this is Kori. Um, she's going to look out for you. Hmm.
[00:39:16] Laura: You were assigned to him. Or I was assigned to him. Yeah. Yeah. Huh. In my head, it was the reverse that he was older and you were younger. And that he was looking out for you. That's actually really cute.
[00:39:26] Kori: You were big sis. I'm his, I'm his big sister.
[00:39:29] Laura: Hmm. And look how that friendship has, has grown.
[00:39:31] Kori: Mm hmm. Carried. And you want to know the other thing that's kind of hilarious? Yeah. Is my biological brother, who's older than me, his birthday's October 14th. Mm hmm. And my non biological brother, who's younger than me, his birthday is October 9th.
So we got these two Libras. I have these two Libra brothers. It's like similar personalities. So you knew how to handle this. Mm hmm. Mm hmm. Except the main difference was that My biological brother has a lot of confidence.
[00:40:00] Laura: Mm hmm.
[00:40:03] Kori: And he didn't. Libra? No, Leo is lying. What is Libra?
[00:40:05] Laura: Oh. Oh. We're just
[00:40:07] Kori: dabbling here.
But Stanley, Stanley didn't have a lot of confidence. And so that's one of the things that we helped him with. Mm hmm. You know? I love it. It's like, you're, you're a dope human. Let's lean into that. That dopeness. I love it.
[00:40:22] Laura: Sign of the seven, sign of the zodiac. I don't know. God, I'm reading this. I thought it was normally like an animal that would go with it, but I don't know.
All right. Nevermind. We go. Let that be. Um, I love it. I love that you were raised in a culture, whether it be subculture or broadly of, of care. You're, you're Googling Libra, aren't you?
[00:40:43] Kori: Yeah.
[00:40:44] Laura: My, my ability to multitask is not that strong. I'm all get distracted and go down the rabbit hole of Libra and all this other stuff instead of looking at you.
Okay, so we're T minus what, 18 days or something to the election? Something crazy. I am feeling lots of anxiety if I'm honest, but I'm trying to process that as best I can. Um, I do want to do some volunteering before it's all over. My husband had, um, Indigenous People's Day off and so he was looking for an opportunity to volunteer and everything was like at a certain hour of the day or you need two hour training for, so he got really frustrated, but he's really feeling that same anxiety and we're wanting to do something about it.
Um, but I'm thankful for voting early and having that done and I've got my sticker and at least I'm not worried that that's still ahead of me or there's a variable that could impact that. You know? How are you feeling? About the election? Yeah. Like, are you as anxious as I am? No. You look cool as a
[00:41:43] Kori: cucumber.
I mean, I'm just, you know, um, yeah, I'm really like, I'm thinking about the world and, you know, um,
how we're just allowing.
individual administrations to dismantle whole ass institutions, and I'm talking about Israel, and I'm talking about the United Nations. The fact that it's like the leader, the second leader of Hamas has now been killed, why is there bombing still going on? If that was supposedly your goal. Mm. To destroy Hamas.
And why are we in Lebanon? Why are we in Lebanon? Why are we moving into Syria? Like. Why are we sending U. S. troops now? Why? That part. That part. It's scary. Like, that's the part that's giving me anxiety. Like, the election
[00:42:54] Laura: is, is Small potatoes in comparison in your mind. I mean, there's certainly a connection there, right?
I don't know that the policies are going to be much better, but I know that we've got to do something.
[00:43:08] Kori: Yeah. Yeah.
[00:43:11] Laura: You're like, ugh.
[00:43:13] Kori: But that, like, that's more what I'm thinking about, right? I get that. It's like, you know, the, the chips are going to fall where they're going to fall here.
[00:43:18] Laura: Yeah.
[00:43:18] Kori: But we still have this, this larger thing that is, is raging.
Raging. Like raging. And it does, it's not, the scope isn't narrowing. If anything, we're getting, it's going to get bigger. The bombardment is not being reduced. There are larger powers that are now being provoked and pulled in, going to be getting pulled in. Right? There's nuclear weapons in play. There's nuclear weapons becoming in play.
Like the, the Yemenese president said something like basically no one's getting through the Red Sea if you're, if you're providing anything for Israel, which before it was like the Houthis, right? It's like this more fringe feeling kind of group. But now this is the president of the country, right? Which means that that scope has shifted in terms of their position.
It's not like just this one small group of, um, militia. That's disrupting it. This is now the official state saying this. This is now the official stance, right? Like that's different. Um, and there's just, there has been zero accountability anywhere. Like just zero accountability. So I'm thinking more about that.
I understand. I'm thinking more about that and, and the election's important and, um, and, you know, you mentioned something on the last pod about the kind of the long game aspect of it. But, truthfully, you know, we've been feeling the long game aspect forever. And, um, we have been, and I say we, like Black folks in particular, have been feeling the brunt and the impact of empty promises.
Like even things as simple as reparations, right, um, we, that's like an impossible feat, an impossible task, but we're going to go ahead and give you Juneteenth as a holiday holiday. Um, just like,
[00:45:26] Laura: you know, or even worse, Cory, right? Like administrations, you know, Jim Crow being a lot Jim Crow laws and heck, modern Jim Crow laws too, right?
But this idea of like the slavery's still being legal Mm-hmm. ,
[00:45:39] Kori: right? Like it's still legal that in, in our constitution, because the words in the constitution, say in the 13th Amendment, say that slavery enslavement can be used as punishment for a crime. So that's what, that's what our prison system is, right?
And who's in prison? A lot of Black and brown bodies
[00:46:02] Laura: because the laws have been written in a way.
[00:46:05] Kori: Like, so, you know, it's like, I don't know. I, I, I'm, I'm thinking I have like, I'm thinking about this larger conflict, this larger level of connection, the, the broader ways in which we could be uniting and mobilizing as people and extends beyond borders and just us.
Right. And also I really would like for Kamala
Harris to Um, be more explicit about her stance in terms of the U. S. and what's happening abroad in the Middle East. Like, you know, I would just like her to just, I don't subscribe. Say it with her full
[00:46:56] Laura: chest and really, yeah. Yeah, and just, and
[00:46:59] Kori: I don't, I don't like to subscribe to like, well, let's just get her in there and she's gonna, you know, that, so that is like the angst that I'm feeling is I don't want to just get her in there.
I want to believe and know. That, that's her plan. Now what happens when you get in there, I recognize that there are aspects of things that get prioritized and, and you can't. And intelligence that we're not privy to. And intelligence that we're not privy to and things that you can't move right away on and all that kind of stuff.
But I would still feel better if you could say out loud with your full chest, like, this is what I'm going to do. And this is wrong
[00:47:38] Laura: and we are committed to. And.
[00:47:40] Kori: To justice, especially when on the other side, you're able to criticize the horrible human about all of the injustice that he's perpetrated and not hold up any sort of mirror to the kinds of injustice that you're participating in the perpetration of across the sea.
You know, like I, it's like it, it, it feels the, the, some of the cognitive dissonance I'm feeling is just like, are we not making the connection? Or are we just willing to believe that Black faces in high places can save us? So, because we have a really growing, serious conflict. And, yeah. And, um, and also I just, I don't know.
I want, I, I, I want people to just, uh, about all the children who have not gotten first birthdays and second birthdays and third birthdays and fourth birthdays and fifth birthdays and sixth birthdays. And the young man who was attached to an
[00:48:52] Laura: IV in a hospital.
[00:48:53] Kori: Who's 20 years old, who was also helping people, right?
Like um, and, and Chris Hayes did a piece on it. And that was one of the first. Um, Western media representations of what was happening that felt somewhat honest. And we can post it. I can share it with you. I'd love to see it. Um, but it was like, but this has been going on for a year. You know what I mean? I know.
And so anyway, so it's like, you know, the vote is going to do what the vote is going to do. And I think that people are going to be showing up to vote for sure. And, um, I will be one of those people. Uh, our early voting hasn't quite opened yet, or I think it's gonna open this week, maybe. Um,
[00:49:39] Laura: Yeah, it's, I agree with you that it is small potatoes relative to the rest of the world and we are such a pivotal actor in what happens in the rest of the world.
Which is part of why I would like to hear. To your point, I would love to see more from her on how we're going to address this. For sure.
[00:49:59] Kori: Yeah, because like seriously to me, the United Nations is at stake, right? We're going to, and it's very becoming, very evident, not becoming, it's very evident that there is a double system, a double standard that is being imposed.
But that just mirrors the rest of the world, right? That mirrors what's happening in this country. It mirrors what's happening in Israel. It mirrors, like, that, that system of subjugation, apartheid, separation. Or U. S. 's ability to veto, or. To veto, but, right, and who, but there's so few players who have that ability to veto.
So we could have. 97 percent of the, of the countries who are supporting something, and then this one country holds all this power to shut it down. That doesn't seem
[00:50:49] Laura: democratic. Agree. And, and I know that with the other, with Trump in there, it would be worse,
[00:50:58] Kori: right? For who?
[00:51:00] Laura: Like for you? For everybody.
[00:51:02] Kori: For who?
But, but, but really, like, let's say it for real. But
[00:51:06] Laura: for who? Everyone who's not white and wealthy,
[00:51:12] Kori: white male and wealthy. So, for some people, it's already worse. Right? Like, that's all I'm saying. There's just like, you know, perspective really matters. And, and there are people who are making decisions about food and rent every single day.
Who are working multiple jobs to just like make ends meet. And so, There are people who are dying in their cars because what like, so how could it be worse for them? There are people who are being murdered by police and aren't being held accountable for in this current situation So like how could it be worse for them?
There are people who are whose families are being burned alive And when they try to go and advocate to their representatives about their experience of their family They are being shut out
[00:52:03] Laura: Right.
[00:52:04] Kori: So how could you, it
[00:52:04] Laura: can be worse for that individual, but what it could be is worse at scale. Right. And that's why I was saying worse for who, right?
I think it could scale from these isolated experiences to the carte blanche to do for all, right? For, so all of a sudden, if the woman who's bleeding out in her car in a Southern state who can't get abortion, Trump is elected, there's a federal ban put in place. Now all of a sudden that's happening in more places.
Right? So it's the scaling is what concerns me. Not to say that it's not happening anywhere right now. Because it is.
[00:52:37] Kori: Mm hmm. Mm hmm. And then my other question is like, and what have those who are currently holding power done who've had multiple opportunities to do things like codify Roe v. Wade? Like where is the responsibility there?
These are the, these are the things that like. I know that Trump facilitated this, right? There were Democratic presidents who had an opportunity to codify this. And they didn't. And so like, why are we putting all of the responsibility on the guy who did exactly what he said he was going to do in this respect when we have other people who could have prevented him from being able to do this in the first place?
Which takes me back to my first thing about I want to hear with your whole chest what your plans are. Because, this Roe v. Wade thing, although he is responsible for the shift. He was, he was given the space to do it. Right. Right. And had someone else who said that they represented and cared about women done that part, which would have prevented him from being able to do this, then we wouldn't even be here.
And we're not ever talking about that part.
[00:53:56] Laura: I think you're right, that there are lots of people who could cumulatively have put us in so much better of a place.
[00:54:03] Kori: And so that's why my, my hat is not
[00:54:05] Laura: hanging on her.
[00:54:06] Kori: No, no, no. I don't You know what I'm saying? Like She's no,
[00:54:08] Laura: she's no savior. She's no She's no different.
I don't know if I'd say that. I can't say that. Um, but I, I don't put my hopes for the saving of the world in one person's hands. That's for sure. Um, but for me, I, I think our opportunity to even choose a leader in the future is jeopardized with him.
[00:54:27] Kori: Yeah. Yeah. I mean, it's, it's like, when people think about terms like the lesser of two evil, I think it depends on what you consider to be evil.
Right. And it's like, I don't know, it, uh, I was watching something that with that most deaf shared and it was like, godly people act godly and we're not seeing any of that. And this place that we live in is sick, and the people in it are sick, and the way in which we move is sick. And all we are, anyone is talking about is making us sicker or putting a band aid on a gaping wound.
And we're looking at the same people over and over and over again to carry us home, to carry us through. And that's the Black community, Black women. And it's like, bro, when are the promises that you're making to us going to be kept? Like, this idea of people bleeding out in their cars, like, we know that the, the Um, mater, the maternal, what is it?
It's like the maternal mortality, mortality rate, women mortality rate has always been higher. But we also know that gynecology in this country was developed on experiments of in, based on experiments on enslaved women without their permission or consent, right? That surgeries and things were happening with no anesthesia to us, right?
And so when it was a, uh, a thing that my community was facing, no one seemed overly concerned. But now that this is something that's bleeding out, Into a larger scaled community.
So this is like where my, some of my stuff is coming from, right? It's like, you only care about it when it impacts, when it could potentially impact you. So we're scared about Trump because people who have not had the impact of some of the other things now see themselves being impacted. But so that's why my question is like, worse for who?
Cause some people have been carrying the brunt. Of the elitist way of policy that we have running in our country for a really long time. And so it's like, it doesn't matter who's sitting in that office seat because I'm always going to be carrying the weight, no matter what. That's where I
[00:57:13] Laura: was going with the whole, you know, even generations ago and past leadership, right?
That, that that is a unique experience for people of color and people who are marginalized that. Yeah. You know, the, that it, it's allowed to happen essentially regardless of who's in the chair. And I think that's what you're getting at, right? Uh, yep. She's shaking her head, folks. I got a vertical head shake again.
That's what I'm getting at. Yes. That's what I'm getting at. And I understand that. And I don't believe that it would not get worse for people of color and marginalized people under him. You know? I, I think that's entirely possible. Yeah.
[00:57:49] Kori: Yeah. I just, I just, yes. I don't disagree with that. Yep. Yep. Yep. I don't disagree.
[00:57:54] Laura: That's all, we're not, I'm, it's like, I just want. I think you're bringing some nuance to it in terms of the degrees of bad as opposed, like, I, which I appreciate and I understand. Um. Yeah. But I think we're at the same conclusion on what the choice is right now in this moment.
[00:58:09] Kori: Yeah. Yeah.
[00:58:11] Laura: And I think we both don't put the weight of all of the hopes and dreams on this one thing, but I think it's of consequence for sure.
Yeah. Mm hmm. Mm hmm. Yeah. Yeah. About that. About that. Anywho. All right. What else do we want to talk about before we wrap? Anything light we want to end with, Kory?
[00:58:33] Kori: Well, not just something light. I think that our friendship. is one of the examples of how our, like, how our beings are tied together. Right. And like, you know, one person can make an impact.
Like you came to this wedding and you got to see a aspect of my life that. You had never seen before, but it also illuminated for you that other people who are, happen to be Black could also be having these same kinds of experiences, right? And so imagine if we, as a collective, are able to do more of that humanity seeking and humanity seeing.
And recognizing the nuance. And the shared beliefs and values, like one of the things that was so wonderful about that wedding is that people were coming from all different kinds of walks of life. And there was nothing but love at the center of that space. People were dancing with each other that they didn't know, talking, making small talk at the bar, on the dance floor, in the You know, like all the places there was just all of these different opportunities for people to connect and that is more of what the world should be like.
And, um, I'm grateful that I have a friend in you that is open to the exploration and you, I'm open to the exploration. And in seeing the qualities and the shared values and shared beliefs. that so many of us possess while also not having to agree about everything. Right. And, and that, those are the pieces that I think We could all be better at.
[01:00:39] Laura: Yes. Yes. Yep. Seeking opportunities to understand, to experience, to watch, right? To just take it all in and process and then think about, you know, what are my, what are my takeaways? What are my next steps? How do I communicate back? Um, and being, uh, it's more than respectful. It's more than respectful about disagreement.
It's, it's really trying to understand that perspective and acknowledging the validity of it, even if it's not yours. Even if it's not yours. Yeah.
[01:01:13] Kori: And being like, yeah, I hear that. Yeah. I don't agree with that, but I hear, I hear what you're saying. Yes. And I'm not gonna diminish what you're saying because, because I don't agree.
Mm-Hmm. .
[01:01:23] Laura: Yeah. And I think of the, like the improv, like the Yes. And like, yep. I agree with all you said and here's my take.
[01:01:28] Kori: Yeah.
[01:01:29] Laura: Right. The building on as opposed to cutting down and under and undermining what somebody else thinks.
[01:01:34] Kori: Yeah. I love that. Yeah, love that. And I think that one of the things that's nice about our way of being together.
is that we do prioritize process over productivity
[01:01:48] Laura: or product, right? The messy middle, kind of working through it. The messy
[01:01:52] Kori: middle, like, and we have these conversations where we're just kind of going back and forth and they feel around and I'll repeat what I think I heard and you'll repeat what you think you heard and we'll name some of the things that are lingering.
And that helps us to be able to advance the conversation, right? So that is kind of where I'd want to leave it. It's like, don't shut off. We're having a conversations about the election and we don't fully agree because our lived experiences. are requiring that we process things differently, right? But we still process.
But we're still processing and we can process it together. Yeah. I love it. Yeah. Cause we're creating that space for each other. Yes. Yeah. Thank you. Thank you. Thank y'all for listening to Pushing Past Polite, where we talk about what matters and make the world more just. I'm Kori.
[01:02:55] Laura: And I'm Laura.
[01:02:56] Kori: Why are you
[01:02:56] Laura: whispering?
I don't know. It felt like Delilah of me. Delilah. Oh my God. We should also, can we do a little Easter egg, like some, something about saying hi to Tramain? Yes. Okay. While we were also at the wedding, we met an amazing AV guy who thought that we were really funny. He thought I was funny first and then he met Kori and was like, Oh, this is really fun together.
And we were like, we have a podcast and he went back and then just started texting us. Like he was all up in the back catalog. And we just want to say hi to Tremaine.
[01:03:31] Kori: Hey Tramain. Hey dude. Thanks for the chocolate bar. That's, that's it. Thanks for the chocolate bar.
[01:03:37] Laura: Thanks for the chocolate bar Tremaine.
[01:03:39] Kori: I love it.
Thank you for listening to Pushing Past Polite, where we talk about what matters and make the world more just. I'm Kori. And I'm Laura. Take care. See you soon. And vote. Vote. Vote, vote, vote.
Thanks for listening to Pushing Past Polite. We encourage you to go deeper in your trusted spaces and find new space for good conversation.
[01:04:10] Laura: You'll find episodes, Transcripts and lots of other goodies at our website, pushing past polite podcast. com. You can also connect with us on Instagram, Facebook, and Tik TOK at pushing past polite.
[01:04:23] Kori: Pushing past polite is an independent podcast with Kori and Laura from just educators.
[01:04:28] Laura: Our cover art was designed by Rachel Welsh Deiga of Deiga designs. And our audio is produced by Keith at headset media until next time. Don't get stuck talking about the weather. Pushed past polite. See you next time.
[01:04:52] Kori: Jay, you did
[01:04:52] Laura: perfect.
Kori: Thanks for listening to Pushing Past Polite. We encourage you to go deeper in your trusted spaces and find new space for good conversation.
Laura: You'll find episodes, transcripts, and lots of other goodies at our website, pushingpastpolitepodcast.com. You can also connect with us on Instagram, Facebook, and TikTok at Pushing Past Polite.
Kori: Pushing Past Polite is an independent podcast with Kori and Laura from Just Educators. Our cover
Laura: art was designed by Rachel Welsh De Iga of De Iga Design, and our audio is produced by Keith at Headset Media. Until next time, don't get stuck talking about the weather. Push past polite.
Kori: See you next time.
Little Dude: Bye bye.
Laura: Jay, you did perfect!
